17/1/2017

Although it seems like yesterday that I was trekking to Kicheko Slum to make a house call, I am still nervous for my trip back to Mlolongo, Kenya. I dream of my time there almost weekly and so much of that experience feels fresh in my memory. Last night, I re-read my travel journal from 2013 and, although it made me excited and nostalgic, my upcoming trip has presented new challenges that have me... worked up, to say the least. This time, Positive Life Kenya (formerly Living Positive Mlolongo) knows me. They have high expectations and I feel the pressure of accomplishing the goals that they have set out for me. "We want to create a mobile clinic, Megan. You can help us with that, right?" The faith that PLK has placed in me is both an honor and a challenge. I am grateful that they have such confidence in my abilities and returning to them with new skills with which medical school and CWiC have trained me, excites me. I still feel, however, that I will not be able to accomplish everything that I want in just one month. Along the residency interview trail, I had an interviewer ask me, "What impact have you had in Kenya?" Most of the interviewers wanted to know what impact Kenya had on me but not the other way around. I froze trying to think of anything that has changed since I left. Did I do anything to help that community last time I was there?  

And then I remembered that story of the child and the starfish.  

A man sees a boy picking up starfish and throwing them back into the ocean. He says, "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"
The young boy paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean. The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can't return to the sea by themselves," the youth replied. "When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water."
The old man replied, "But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach. I'm afraid you won't really be able to make much of a difference."
The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean. Then he turned, smiled and said, "It made a difference to that one!"
(Adapted by Peter Straube from The Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley (1907 – 1977)

In the face of overwhelming obstacles to helping the Mlolongo community, I have to keep in mind that just because I cannot see an obvious change for the community as a whole, I know that there are individuals who I have helped. At the end of the day, I "made a difference to that one." I have to believe that someday, the sum of all of those who I help will make "a difference for that one" community. 

Photo Credit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Starfish